i’m writing this, my first post, not to contribute anything novel or edifying to the conversation that is already well underway, but rather in the hope that it will be a catalyst for more and better submissions from the rest of the band. i’m also writing this to share with you, my loyal fans (or our loyal fans…whatever) the deepest, most profound, most personal components of my being. my deep, cavernous being.

it’s a little bit embarrassing for me to share this with you, but i think it’s important that our relationship be founded on the solid rock of honesty. preferably a truth-bearing slab of limestone (for any potential patron[esse]s out there granite or marble would be really nice, it’s just not in the budget right now). in fact, i’m going to edit the tour rider to call for a truth-bearing slab of marble on every stage we play henceforth.

last weekend, in the midst of a 12 hour rehearsal (no, we did not break for meals, and yes, i was wearing a catheter) i did something i’ve never done before an audience. right there in trevor and megan’s living room, in front of god, the band, and the elderly neighbors on the east side of bruce street, i busted my nut.

of course, this made quite a scene. at the time i was tweaking the nord lead 2 (for our regular readers, i’m also playing the synth label game) and i stumbled across a particularly stimulating bass tone that sent my guitar from its precariously pro junior-supported upright position into the opposing wall. and though i thought nothing of it at the time, when i next picked up the guitar to play it, i found that my nut was indeed busted.

i’ll have you know that superglue is a legitimately utilized substance in the repair of many guitar parts, nuts included. steve was good enough to find the disembodied nut piece, megan was good enough to find some superglue and a bamboo twig to apply it, and i was good enough to flawlessly return the formerly disembodied nut piece to its rightful place on the neck of my guitar.

see, this story had a happy ending after all.

as a final word, i’d like to bring to everyone’s attention the blatant war-on-joe’s-integrity that trevor has imprudently waged via this blog. every good deed deserves another. just wait…